update

an update to gangneung daze can be found here: http://gangneungdaze.blogspot.com

remember, please send any contributions about gangneung or korea in general to gangneungdaze@gmail.com

enjoy and thanks for reading.

bumpin' uglies, pt. 5: yours truly

well, to the major chagrin (relief?) of all who read this, today marks the end of the bumpin' uglies series.

somewhere, a walrus laments the loss of his face and one diseased tooth...

there is no excuse for this sort of hideousness

it's as if the brain isn't fully intact

a thoughtful, contemplative pose belying the sickness within

bumpin' uglies, pt. 4: stewart

things continue to get worse here because i have absolutely nothing to write about these days, plus, i'm having a great time posting these retarded pictures. and they only get worse today, followed by pt. 5 tomorrow...

today's installment features a jolly and raucous bloke by the name of stewart. he came to us here in gangneung from seoul via pt. 3's contestant, carlos.

stewart visits gangneung only every so often, and usually then on weekends, so he never stays too long, but he leaves a wake of mayhem, chaos, destruction, debauchery, and some scientific as-yet-unclassifieds in carlos's flat, where he usually stays. he's a right jolly mate, he is...

honestly, we're still trying to figure out how this photo is different from a typical stewart photo...

and they say french ticklers aren't worth the price of submission...!!?!

it's difficult to tell if this is post-partum depression or post-coital recession

a scarier rugby player doesn't exist (good luck trying to convince a new zealand sheep, though!)

bumpin' uglies, pt. 3: carlos

if you haven't been sickened by pts. 1 & 2, then i welcome you to carlos's turn at bat. no wife-beaters this time, but there are the strange indentations in his skull to contemplate:

this time, it's a duck wondering where its mouth is

this is carlos's game face when he's about to go try and pull a bird. it explains a lot.

this is cheekiness personified--and that of carlos's countenance that we're accustomed to seeing

bumpin' uglies, pt. 2: dylbut

continuing in our 5-part bumpin' uglies segment is this group of photos involving dylbut (so-called because his name is DYLan BUTler and whose idea it was to pose/shake faces/look scarier than hell on a sandwich in a tornado) and his wife-beater tee-shirt:

he's being punched by an invisible barfly

this was his pose at his arraignment on pig-molesting charges

somewhere, a bulldog laments the loss of its mouth

if it can believed, this was his "normal" pose for comparison to the other, (allegedly) more brutish photos.

bumpin' uglies, pt. 1

finally, we are back with the bumpin' uglies portion of the programming.

not long ago, while hanging out drinking at bumpin', we got creative with the camera and this series is the result. some of the photos are unintended comedy, others were purposely made in a humourous vein, some will scare the shit out of you, and still others should have never, ever seen the light of day in any capacity.

regardless, the hope is that some or all of these photos will bring a little laughter to your life while you're still able to keep your food down...

one of the unintentional comedic photos: this woman engages in that most unknown of korean traditions: sleeping and/or passing out in public wherever one can. in this instance, it's on the bar itself at bumpin' (with a mysterious, dylan-looking purple ghost-like figure in the background), but it very easily could have happened in one of the following instances:

• while on a bus


• while at work


• while at a restaurant


• while walking on the street


• while copulating vigourously


• while talking to you


• while behind the wheel of a moving car


• while hovering over the launch button at a nuclear-capable military installation...

i think this ryan. i can only assume it, though, because i only recognise the glasses...

this is kyung-sup. i am reminded of a squirrel with severe brain damage.

dylan: there is debate as to whether this is humourous or just plain scary as hell...

isn't it amazing that the one who most looks NOT on drugs is jimi hendrix...?

hug moms, not bombs...

for all you moms, happy mother's day (at least in america).

for all of you who have moms, call them up and let 'em know you love them...

 

it resumes...

after a hiatus of nearly two weeks, it all starts again. due to an emergency in seung-hee's family that took us all over the southern and eastern half of korea, last week was basically a total loss in all respects regarding computers, keeping in contact, technology, and other such sundries.

now that we're back in gangneung--and once we catch up on sleep--all other posts for this web site will start surfacing again, especially the bumpin' uglies series...

preview: bumpin' uglies...

you know, the month of may is supposed to evoke images of warmer weather, or of lovers walking hand-in-hand amidst acres of blooming flowers in a quiet, windswept meadow, or of necklines plunging to meet miniskirt hems rising to meet the uncaressed cheeks of thong-laden moons, or (for you ladies and nontraditional males) of muscular arms from sleeveless shirts being browned by the sun during weekend forays into athletics or outdoor work, or of the ugliness of winter's cold blues melting away to expose the beauties that make up the human race.

then again, maybe not, as a recent outing to bumpin' proved:

there's an old saying, just created, that goes something like this: if, at any time, the word "beauty" is mentioned when accompanied by photos of the above, um, quality, then one must endeavour to gouge one's eyes, eviscerate one's ears, and disintegrate one's tongue.

*warning: this is only a preview of the "bumpin' uglies" week that is to come...

gangneung daze

i was jolted into reality about something a few weeks ago.

see, initially, i started writing on this intrinsic part of the aetherspace-time continuum for the sole purpose of describing the antics of my wife, my friends, and me here on the northeast coast of korea. i am also author of several other aetherspace-time points--mostly containing poetry, but with a dose of short stories and rants against what needs to be ranted against--but this site upon which your eyes are now feasting was intended to be my own private couch session.

however, in the eleven months that have progressed since this particular web site was started, it seems that the content has diverted from the topic of our coastal antics to all sorts of subjects: raising money and gathering clothes, raging at u.s. imperialism, trying to understand the olympics, etc. this web site mostly just indulges my tastes of making any (ir)relevant point on any given day. i realise there are some people out there who read the material on this site regularly--and, for that, i'm indebted and humbled--but i never expected that it would be widely read. true, i am a writer by heart, in my mind, and to the very depths of my soul--and i want people to read what i write and offer comments to me. very rarely do people offer comments about this site on the "comments" link ubiquitous at the bottom of every post, which i lament and attribute to my writing's not being worth a damn or entertaining or funny or thought-inducing or sense-provoking or anything of the sort. of course, i do get an email response every so often, but, honestly, i get less feedback about this site's material than i either i hope or would like. but because i'm unable to devote my time to finishing the novel i've started, or coalescing the short stories into a collection worthy of submission for publication, i use this site as my vehicle for creativity, something not really intended in the beginning. this site continues to evolve until i have due time enough to dedicate to my other, more expansive projects.

therefore, i had just assumed that, aside from the aforementioned regulars who'd rather email me personally than offer a comment directly linked to the site, the majority of the people around the world accessing this site just glanced at it and moved on. it never dawned on me that people would visit this site because a search engine directed them here--as a result of their looking for information on gangneung, or korea, or gangwon province, or aid for earthquake victims, or anything of that nature.

well, in recent weeks, i've realised that there are people--mostly non-koreans--intent on coming to gangneung to live, teach english, and hang out for a year or more who are doing or have done internet searches looking for information about what to expect from this city so they can be armed with info before arriving. there are various outlets on the internet dedicated to gangneung, but they're often outdated, full of bullshit english, meting out information (and usually with an agenda behind it, at that) and basically just dangling dickless in a hurricane of dancing co-eds. there are very few sites i've found that give a foreigners-eye view of this city and the surrounding area, its restaurants, its beaches, its bars and hangouts, its things to do (or not do, as the case may be)--the flavour of gangneung, as it were.

since my actual web site depicting my life here has very little to offer about gangneung itself (because i, too, like everyone else in the world, have an agenda, though that agenda is often about not having one), i've created yet ANOTHER web site to be linked from this one. it will be solely dedicated to information about gangneung, including photos, stories, restaurant reviews, pub updates, upcoming activities, and what to do and/or see throughout the year. it will serve a dual purpose, i hope:

1) it will give people considering moving to gangneung a reference point, and 2) will give regular (and other, not-so-regular) readers of this site access to the actual city of gangneung instead of my antics and rants while just happening to live here...

to access the new site, please kick it here: http://gangneungdaze.blogspot.com

this new site will not contain sightings of the following: jason naked on a beach, rory doing rolling handstands, my wife beating ryan in badminton, cows in china, carlos feeling up rory, rants against korea footy, obsequious short stories, photos of desert mosques, politics and its subsequent madness, the soliciting of money for the purposes of aiding earthquake victims or restoring abandoned whorehouses to their former glory, men in wigs, men licking other men, equine copulation, dedications to any dearly beloved deceased, etc.

all of those shenanigans will stay right where they currently are, here on this site.

well, that's the plan, anyway...

thus, i encourage any and all readers living in gangneung--or who have lived in gangneung, if that be the case--to to be a part of this.

as such, i'm asking (nay, imploring) those of you who would like to write up something to post on this new site to do so. write about anything you want regarding the following:

• photos
  
• restaurant reviews
  
• bar reviews
  
• hagwon reviews (for those who may be considering coming here to teach and live for a bit)
  
• announcements (parties, footie practise, get-togethers, trips, etc.)
  
• buying or selling things
  

this is just a list of my own thoughts. it is not meant to limit anything anyone might want to post.

i know life isn't always so easy for us "round-eyes" here in korea, but let's do our best to keep the negative (especially anything personal) chat to a minimum. honesty is, of course, paramount, but i'd like to refrain from taking cheap shots at gangneung--or korea or koreans--in general. let's not make this an online bitch session, but, instead, a capable site full of good information and knowledgeable insight (even if it is subjective) about gangneung for those of us who live here to tune in frequently to find out what's going, what went on, or what might be going on soon.

for the time being, i'm going to ask that anyone who wishes to write or post something please email me at gangneungdaze@gmail.com with your idea or piece and we'll have a chat about it to get it right so we can then post it for all to see.

the first post is already up for you to check out--just click the link above to take you there...