happy birthday, peggy...

the sun's first blinks of the day...

my mom, peggy janelle marshall--nee, huskey--would have been a milestone 75 years old today had she, almost a year ago, finally not succumbed to all the ravages that her bad health had wrought upon her frail body in the final years of her life. to the very end, she was as she always was--more worried about how others were doing than about her own suffering.

~

she was an avid american college basketball fan--the university of south carolina and duke university being her two favourites, respectively--and march is one of the best, if not THE best, months of the year for an american sports fan because of the championship tournament that determines the national basketball champion in america.

~

my absolute last conversation with my mom was in the final hours before she died, when she was wracked with a bad cough and i could barely understand her fractured voice from a cold she had caught--the absolute death knell for her because of how weak she was--but as i think of her on this day, i don't think of that last conversation, i think of the one before that, a few days earlier, just after the 2005 national championship game between the university of north carolina and the university of illinois. as a fan of duke, she was loathe to see any good fortune come to duke's archrival, north carolina, especially its winning the national championship. i can remember the disgust in her voice as she recounted a year ago how north carolina had won the championship game and was celebrating being national champions. "it just makes me sick," she said, all the funnier for her to say because of how sick she really was at that time.

~

so, here we are again, another march has rolled by, another college basketball tournament is nearing its end this weekend, as the championship game will be on monday, april 3. it's march 31, 2006, the first birthday without her for those of us who knew and loved her. it's a friday. as this day approached, i was apprehensive, as you might imagine, of how my emotions would be.

seung-hee and i formulated a plan several weeks ago to recognise mom's birthday, something simple but nonetheless commemorative and this is how it carried out:

the sun was fully cooperative on this special day...

although i went to bed last night around midnight after a bout of soju-imbibing, we woke up just after 5:00 this morning to head to the beach so we could watch the sunrise, have a beer, light a candle on a cake, and just say, "happy birthday." it was simple, not emotionally overwhelming, and not without the wry humour associated with nearly everything done in korea in the ways of a foreign culture, particularly regarding western culture.

the breakwater begins to illuminate...

as we took the ten-minute ride from our apartment, we could see the day dawning very well and looking as if the sunrise--indeed, the entire day--was going to be clear and beautiful. we got to anmok beach just before the sun creased the horizon and made some purchases from the family mart convenience store so ubiquitous to korea. my wife bought some coffee for the birthday toast while i purchased a couple of bottles of beck's beer--i'm not sure peggy ever had one, but it was a nod to her german ancestry. we hadn't thought to get a real cake the day before, so seung-hee bought a chocolate moon pie-like substance, then, realising that we'd forgotten candles, decided to buy the next best thing--a firecracker in the form of a sparkler. such is korea...!!

not traditional in any sense of the word, yet somehow appropriate...

anyway, we walked out onto the man-made concrete pier--called a breakwater--toward a perfect point at which we had an excellent, direct, view of the rising sun. the waves were rougher than normal and, while windy, it wasn't as windy as it could have been. i cracked open a beer and raised it in a salute to mom while my wife prepared the birthday "cake." we lit the sparkler and drove it into the "cake", clicked our coffee and beer, raised another birthday salute, and stood silently while watching the sun change from bulbous pink to ruby red to fiery orange to the blazing yellow it would remain until it set.

yes, this photo was altered somewhat....

it was brilliant, a great start to the day, full of good thoughts and reminesces as well as contrite thoughts of chances missed and never being available again. i didn't feel the dramatic presence many people might have felt while out there, i didn't have any overreaction of emotion that my mom was looking over my shoulder or down upon us--that is, until i said, "fuck", in regard to some nonsense, and my wife reprimanded me for it. only at that point could i see a shaking of the head in mock exasperation as i ruefully smiled at my wife's point.

happy 75th, ma; i miss you...

a clarification

ahh, the beauties of china (and, apparently, these days, of immigration-fearing america)

it was brought to my not-unaware attention, as a result of comments in my last post, that the iranians and english have long histories of zealous patriotism and xenophobia and, thus, my efforts to cheer them on in their world cup footballing endeavours come june could be regarded as unseemly.

while this point of view is well-scrutinized, it is also well-rubbished by the fact that my whole point was this: in a time where xenophobia is rampant the world over, where racism and patriotism are fast becoming synonyms ("raciotism"?), where nations the world over (save for futbol-ignorant america) are ramping up toward a fever pitch to rally around their flags for the good of the cause, i have chosen, as i always do, to disregard heritage and cheer for whomever it is i please.

i cheer for the african teams because, in the snobby world of futbol, they're regarded as mere lily pads upon which the larger, more-pedigreed futboling nations of the world can trample in their efforts to win the most-coveted (though ugliest) trophy in world sports.

cheering for angola to win a game or two and advance to the second round is to cheer for Hope to win, to cheer for their poverty to be alleviated, it is to cheer for former colonists as they face off against portugal, their former masters.

to cheer for togo is to cheer for one of the smallest countries in the world, to cheer for a major underdog (whose president is the longest-serving president in africa today, though longevity doesn't equate to credibility...), is to cheer against korea because their run to the semi-finals four years ago has left the fans and futboling association here feeling they are the upper-crust of futboling society and to be brought down back to earth by an african team (in korea, the "africa" is thought of as a country, not a continent home to more than 50 countries, full of countless cultures and languages, replete with environmental and cultural wonders that mystify the senses) that the koreans feel have nothing on them.

to cheer for cote d'ivoire, ghana, or tunisia is to cheer for teams with underrated talent, striking futbol, and passionate followers. it's a push for futbol in africa to be recognised for the emergent force in world futbol that it has become.

to cheer for iran is to be true to my dissident mindset, to look defiantly in the world's (i.e., the american government's and most of the american people's) eyes and say, "sod off!" people don't like to mix politics and sports, but they are often inexorably mixed because that's the nature of people. fortunately, i can point to the fact that iran's futboling prowess is underappreciated by most "upper-class" futboling nations and it's my hope that they will show the world that futbol played in the desert, in one of the cradles of civilisation can truly be top-shelf.

to cheer for england is the anomaly, the enigma, the head-scratcher, isn't it? it seemingly is to cheer for all of the things that i stand against, but living abroad and traveling the world over has brought to me greater appreciation of englishmen and -women, something i wouldn't have had--didn't have--a decade ago. it's to cheer for the inventors of footie, for a team that has more expectations on its shoulders than all the rest of the nations in the 32-team tournament have combined, for a team that would make a great history to repeat their only world title way back in '66--and what great symmetry it would be, at that: england beat germany in the '66 final in england, and england has a chance to win again in '06, in germany. oh, and to cheer for england is to cheer for the best english futboler in a generation, who doens't play like an englishman--wayne rooney.

so, there you go... fight on, africa! fight on, you persians! fight on, soldiers of st. george's cross!

patriotism: a virtue of the vicious

oscar wilde put it succinctly when describing his thoughts on patriotism and i concur with his rationale because it is nothing more than a term of discrimination dressed up in the ruined colours of one's native national flag. what one ordinarily can't do because it's discriminatory is suddenly acceptable to do when backed by the vitriolic passion for one's country. and i live in a country that's among the most guilty of this sanctioned xenophobia...

~

thusly, while i won't necessarily be cheering against the u.s. in germany during the world cup, it is other nations--such as iran, or angola, or togo, or ghana, or cote d'ivoire, or england--that i fervently hope win the 2006 world cup that starts in germany in a little over two months...

king kang and bettr englishi four yu anb yore pamuh-lee

looking at the consequences of one's climb through and above the shadows of life

so, i woke up one morning not long ago and found myself no longer an english teacher, but co-owner/co-director of a private language institute called kang's language institute. i still teach, but my duties and responsibilities are top-shelf now and come with a sense of adherence to making sure that the school does make my partner, phillip, and i a decent income.

~

i found myself contemplating the fountain of water blasting its way out of the shower one day last week and wondering what the hell i'd just done. why did i splash some cash to take on responsibilities in a country where there is a startling lack of people who own up to theirs? why did i tie seung-hee and me down to gangneung for the next two years when all we really want to do is travel and live in other places? why did i decide to take on something that would take even more time from the things i love: wife, writing, whimsical drinking, and the wonderful world of sports? must i have drunk too much soju over the past decade and it's begun affecting my thought process and judgment?

~

perhaps it's all those and more. it's a scary thing to look into oneself and try to figure out reasons why one did something, even though one gave considerable thought to it beforehand. this was supposed to be the year that i didn't work from april until the end of the year. this was the year to sit in our study at home and finish all the writing projects that have coalesced in the past decade into a pile of papers crammed into some folders or stored on various portable devices for fetish-like insertion into computer terminals for the promise of convenience. this was to be the year that i finally stopped being lazy about making efforts to publish. this was supposed to be the year...

~

..that i didn't do what i did, though i did it, anyway.

~

so, remember, those of you out there interested in learning english or in sending your children to a private institute--in korea, of course--please consider our school for all your english-learning needs. your tuition will include the following promise, at no extra charge:

~

"al uv our adbertising will hav no spell errols and yur enghlish skils will climd higher quikly."

my apologies

last week, as a public service announcement, i informed you, the viewing public, of the fact that palestine's hamas had not committed any murderous acts toward israel since january 2005.

~

i now need to make an apology in reference to that. it seems that in my zeal to pimp hamas, i neglected to pimp another erstwhile alleged terrorist group, the fermented beverage jihadist organisation--or, FEBJO--headed by that sotten-brained mastermind, rory daly (http://roryrunsamok.blogspot.com). it was brought to my attention that FEBJO, too, has not committed any murderous acts since january 2005, instead, focusing, allegedly, on wanton acts of rudeness, politically incorrect forays into humour, and indiscretionary uses of such terms as (unt or !=uck or other such words too severe for use on this child- and american-friendly web site.

~

that i mysteriously forgot to congratulate FEBJO on its admirable restraint over the past 14 months is unforgivable and, as punishment, may i sit in a hot sauna full of naked, nubile, and naughty swedish-brazilian supermodels as they torture me with indiscriminate acts from the kama sutra for as long as it takes me to learn my lesson...

did you know...?

and perhaps you don't care, but the "evil" hamas--the emblem of which is above next to the palestinian flag--has honoured a peace treaty signed in january, 2005, and has not committed any acts of aggression toward "angelic" israel since that time; meanwhile israel continues killing or injuring scores of palestinians--including women and children, sometimes deliberately-- each month.

`

really, it's true. look it up yourself.

`

just thought you should know...

whoops!

i didn't miss the entry of the month of march into our lives, but i did miss acknowledging it here because of being too busy. the last of day of february, seung-hee and i moved into a newer, bigger, and better place; and, on the first day of march, i officially started my new wage-earning capacity as co-owner of a private english institute here in gangneung. needless to say, even as we get to the end of the first week of march, i'm still mad busy because i'm still trying to settle in at work. i'll detail more of the two moves soon, but, for now, i'll leave you with a quirky little poem for you to devour:

Two Women and I On a Bench at the Beach

I am sitting on
a bench at the beach
listening to
two gabby women.

I am listening on
a bench to two gabby women
sitting on
the beach.

I am two gabby women
listening to
a bench
sitting at the beach.

I am the beach
listening to
two gabby women
sitting on a bench.

I am a bench
sitting on the beach
listening to
two gabby women

Two beach women
sitting on a gabby
listening to the bench--
I am.

Two gabby women
listening to
a bench at the beach
I am sitting on.