grandfather monk and the nursing home

now, is this the face of a grandfather or buddhist monk?

so, as a previous posting alluded to, this past weekend was lunar new year in korea. on saturday, the so-called new year's eve, i went with my in-laws to visit my father-in-law's mother at the nursing home at which she stays. she is in her early 80s now and has spent the last several years slowly succumbing to alzheimer's disease. her husband died about 6 or 7 years ago, up until which time both of them still worked daily on their small farm down on nam-hae island, which is in the far south of korea. even after the old man died, seung-hee's grandmother continued to toil alone on the farm for a couple of years, living alone in the house that she'd lived in for decades because she had always been a tough, alert, hardy, and healthy woman. it was not until a couple of years after her husband's death that it was realised she was beginning to suffer from alzheimer's and could no longer be alone.

~~

anyway, so it is in this condition that i've only been able to know her. it certainly has to be tough on my wife and her family to see grandmother this way, but they handle it as well as can be handled. grandmother has been told numerous times about me and about who i am, but she, of course, doesn't remember. my first meeting with her was in the months leading up to our wedding and she continually kept asking my poor brother-in-law, ik-doo (she wouldn't ask anyone else), if i were an american GI and, if so, why i was visiting her. she must have asked ik-doo a dozen times about me. and, then, the last time i saw her, back a few months ago, she wasn't feeling particularly well and pretty generally ignored me. this visit, however, was much different...

~~

she looked much healthier than the last time i'd seen her and she was much less morose and much perkier and she zeroed in on me from the start. in fact, she didn't acknowledge my wife's presence for about 15 minutes. however, once she got going, no one was spared her hysterically incisive and repetitive questions, save for my mother-in-law. first, she kept referring to my father-in-law's continued life of living at the beach (he's lived in seoul, which is NOT near a beach, for more than 35 years); she kept asking ik-doo if he wasn't married (he isn't, yet); but she saved the majority of her questions for seung-hee and me. though i was sitting next to seung-hee, grandmother kept asking where i was. no answer would suffice, as grandmother kept referring to the fact that i was travelling on a boat out on the open seas, or that i was at home on the coast fishing (thus, prompting questions of why i hadn't come to visit), or that i was living abroad, or that i was home tending the farm. then, after all these questions to seung-hee, she would ask me or ik-doo who i was. of course, it's heartbreaking, but it's also fiendishly funny and just befuddles us more about how the brain works.

~~

however, the humour of the day didn't come from grandmother, but from the other side of the room and another little old lady, also looking like she was in her 80s, with whom grandmother shared her room.

~~

we had been visiting grandmother for about 15 minutes, when the nurses wheeled in the other old lady confined to her bed. a few minutes later, as we were sitting listening to grandmother ramble on, this voice popped up from deep in the recesses of spacetime: "hello, american grandfather!" (in korean, of course). we all kind of stopped and looked at each other as if to say, "did we just hear what we think she just said?" the moment passed, none of us responded, and we kept going. a few minutes later, the salutation came again: "hello, american grandfather!"

~~

now, i have a bit of a goatee, which i admit isn't a very full one because i just can't grow a big, bushy one like i'd like to. however, the most noticeable thing about it isn't the raggedy-assness of it but the fact that it's mostly white, but with a mixture of blonde, brown, and red. however, it's the white that people notice, which, along with my shaved head, often prompts students and kids unknown to me to think that i look like a grandfather, so i'm used to it. however, i was (fake) indignantly shocked to have an obvious grandmother refer to me as one of her peers. she was gently told that i was not a grandfather, my looks notwithstanding. she seemed satisfied, but her momentary silence was obviously spent in contemplation of what possibly could a white man with no hair and a nearly-white goatee be. when it finally dawned her what i could be, she wasn't about to hold back...

~~

"hello, american monk!" because, with no hair, what else could i be if i weren't a grandfather but a buddhist monk...

~~

she was incredibly cute, needless to say, but she saved her cutest for when we were leaving, for when i said goodbye to her in korean, she responded in kind by saying goodbye--in english!!!

this just in...

this flag flies more proudly today in palestine than it did just a few days ago...

hamas, denounced by the west and israel as a major terrorist group (as if the u.s. and israel are NOT terrorists in their own right) and threat to world peace, wins the majority of the seats in the palestinian legislative council in this past week's elections in palestine.

may this web site be among the first of non-arab-based web sites to offer this salutation:

many congratulations on hamas's triumph in the elections.

it shows, perhaps, what i've been saying for the past twenty years: that america and israel are the greatest threats to world security, are the two foremost leaders in committing acts of terrorism the world over, and that someone, somewhere, somehow has to begin to make the stand against america and israel; it can't be done alone, by one person, it has to start with a culture, a people, an oppressed population who've been duped not only by washington and tel aviv, but also by its own people (yes, this is an indictment of fatah, the erstwhile ruling party in palestine that has been so ousted from the majority in the legislative council). in fact, it is fatah that perhaps deserves the most wrath and derision for how it's sold out the palestinian people on so many occasions in the past two decades, none more so than with its acquiescence to the oslo "peace" accords (my quotations added around the word peace).

more to come on this monumental decision by the palestinian people because the repercussions of this election victory are not going to die down soon...

asia's lunar new year

in many parts of the world--meaning those places not found in asia, specifically east asia-the coming lunar new year is often forgotten; and if it's remembered at all, it's called chinese new year, which is a huge misnomer because china is not the only country in asia and not the only country to follow the lunar calendar and, thus, celebrate the lunar new year.

~~

this year, lunar new year falls on sunday, january 29, by the gregorian calendar, alternately known as the solar calendar or the western calendar. i am fortunate enough to have been in at least four different asian countries over the years as the old lunar year passed into the new lunar year and can say that there are many similarities between east asian celebrations (such as what happens in china or korea), but not so many similarities between east asian celebrations and south or central asian celebrations (such as nepal or thailand).

~~

here in korea, lunar new year celebrations by non-christian families tend to focus on the reverence of deceased ancestors on the paternal side of the family (leave it to the christians to fuck up a perfectly excellent cultural distinction of korean society; it's only in recent years that i've learned that korean christians don't celebrate the lunar new year like the majority of koreans do. when i made several queries into the reasons as to why christian families don't participate in the same way that is traditionally korean, i was informed that what is a traditional korean way of celebrating is related in no small part to buddhism and, thus, renders it damn near illegal by the christian church for a christian korean family to perform the traditional korean ceremonial rites associated with lunar new year.) the day before the actual day of the new year is devoted to preparing busloads of food to set on special tables. these tables are set and displayed with foods special to the deceased in particular and to the the area of korea from which the deceased hails (in the case of my wife's family, who come from a small island in the south of korea, there is an abundance of seafood each time there is a setting; in the case of a family from the mountains, there might be an abundance of foods specific to that place). after the food is cooked and placed on the table in the appropriate sequence, then the immediate family perform deep, traditional bows as an act of paying respects to the whole lineage of deceased ancestors. unfortunately for you feminists out there, the only respects paid are to the family of the father of each family, and most specifically to the male ancestors.

~~

now, some of you might be wondering why i've assailed the christians for not participating in this tradition. well, the reasons are fairly simple...

~~

it's been written by me in earlier postings that i am not much on religion, though i am a moslem; it's also been written here that i prefer celebrating a living person's birthday than the anniversary of the death of someone whom i've never met. nonetheless, it's a unique part of korean culture, this tradition of lunar new year celebration. though i am a moslem and though i prefer not celebrating the death of some long-ago ancestor, i happily participate in the bowing to the ancestral line of my wife's family simply because it's part of the tradition of korea and of my wife's family. too, i've participated in similar ceremonies at the home of my korean "family", as well. the christians don't usually have this kind of ceremony anymore because, apparently, this kind of tradition of bowing down to the ancestral line is a form of false idolatry. that's fucking insane. before i came to korea, and when i used to be a christian, how could it have been "wrong" if i'd decided every year on the anniversary of my grandfather's death to honour him by performing some simple ceremony of respect and homage at his gravesite or in my house or in a bar or in a barn or in a tree or in a cave or whilst in the midst of intense copulatory exercises with a group of local prostitutes? christians nowadays generally celebrate the lunar new year in a much more subdued way than their ancestors of yore, which begs the question: why is it that western society excoriates moslems for extreme and fundamental adherence to the Quran while completing accepting the extreme and fundamental interpretations of the bible by christians? of course, the answer is that most of western society is based upon the principles of christianity and not islam--but christians often like to brag about how tolerant they are and how flexible god is to the types of worship that are allowed, when in reality christians are often not flexible and no different from the militant moslems that they claim are such a threat to the u.s., western civilisation, and world peace.

~~

this christian way of not participating is all a bunch of hypocritical bullshit.

~~

but i digress from my happy thoughts of lunar new year, as i am wont to do when i get rolling. lunar new year is a unique celebration here in korea and one that i feel is a shame that the legions of non-koreans living here have never had the chance to participate in or even simply witness. my personal thoughts of it all notwithstanding, i feel truly blessed to have been able to witness, much less participate in, such celebrations--and my feelings of good fortune, i feel, have been multiplied exponentially because i've been able to witness it by more than one family and i've witnessed, all told, more than a handful of these ceremonies. it's a unique part of korea, a unique piece of world culture, and a special memory in my full complement of experiences. though there are aspects of the strong concentration by korean society on patriotism and family that i despise, i do find it strangely moving to spend such a holiday as this with my in-laws and my korean family because i realise how lucky i am to be a non-korean involved in such a korean celebration.

~~

of course, it does help that a staple of many a korean family's celebration revolves around drinking, eating, and shooting the shit.

~~

more to follow on the family aspect of korean society...

Damadola


Bones, psyches, and lives shatter
As guided bombs land and shred.
Flesh, homes, and sanity shred
As hope and quietude shatter.
Another senseless campaign of hell
Backed up by arrogant excuse
And unprovoked imperial abuse.
To the world, twill be hard to sell
The mad, unforgivable error
That befell tiny, remote Damadola
On behalf of God, pop, and Coca-Cola
In this stage of “War on Terror.”
Attempts to explain it away
Show an absence of sentience,
An utter lack of civilised consience
As survivors look on with dismay.
From all corners, should there be heard
Deafening cries of condemnation
So any future duplication
Will safely be deterred.

another moment about which to cringe

do you know what region of the world this flag symbolises?

it is the provincial flag of the north west frontier in pakistan. the north west frontier shares its borders with afghanistan and several disputed regions with neighbouring india and china, not the least of which is kashmir. it is in the north west frontier that the small village of damadola exists.

~

you don't know damadola? you should. it and its townspeople should be given a bit of thought. if you know a small town--a village, really--in a lonely part of your country, in a place that's sparsely crowded, a place where small-town traditions are still carried on daily, a place that is peaceful, though some in the population have some alleged political radicalism in their thoughts or some purported religious fundamentalism instilled in them, if you know a place like this, or live in a place like this, or have friends or relatives living in a place like this, please picture it in your head. then, picture it the target of some far-off nation with a fearsome amount of weaponry at its disposal.
~
a week ago, this small village was bombed by the u.s. military in an effort to wipe out the number 2 man, ayman al-zawahri, in america's sworn enemy, al-qaida. in the process of trying to kill one man, remote-controlled bombs were unleashed on an unsuspecting village instead of sending in an elite group of special forces to carry out the mission. in the process of trying to kill one man, bombs were dropped on a small, poor village and more than 10 people were killed and maybe dozens more injured. none of the dead or injured was al-zawahri. maybe up to four of the dead were al-qaida operatives. this would mean that the remainder of the dead—and the majority of the wounded—are just innocent bystanders, “collateral damage,” as the phrase is, i believe.
~
“we got to take to that shot,” was an excuse offered up by an alleged anti-terrorism expert as a reaction to the bombing. consider that statement again: “we got to take that shot.”
~
what shot was it exactly that was being taken, other than a cheap, cowardly one? what if the bombs had actually killed al-zawahri? how much of a difference would it really make? doesn’t anyone inside america understand that every time the u.s. government takes action such as this bombing on a small, remote village, it only galvanizes the rest of the world against america? there are hundreds, if not thousands, of people across the globe who would immediately step into al-zawahri’s role as al-qaida’s number 2. killing him is not going to affect america’s won-loss status in the “war on terror”--america has already lost. trying to kill him in such a cowardly manner is never going to work, either. bombing a city to bring an entire city to its knees is one thing, bombing a village for one man is quite a yellow other thing to do.
~
what I really want to know, however, is this: why has there been such little public outrage in america at this bombing? perhaps americans are so used to such news that they’ve become numb to hearing it. or perhaps they are so brainwashed as to believe that such continued events are actually going to make life more comfortable and offer more security for themselves. or perhaps it’s because very few Americans have experienced the trauma or terror of having their, or another nearby, village bombed from the air by an empire with a massive arsenal. i would be willing to bet my last case of beer that if a far-off nation in asia bombed a small village in northern montana, near the canadian border, because that asian country believed the small village to be host to a dinner party where in attendance was alleged, on very poor intelligence, to be the number 2 mastermind of a terrorist group that the asian country believed to be one of its major threats to its national security, the american public would be not be silent, ignorant, or unconcerned about it. and you know I don’t bet cases of beer lightly.
~
america may continue to go ahead and do whatever it is she wants, regardless of the world’s opinions to the contrary, but, ultimately, all such actions are going to do is bring down the american empire much sooner than people expect.

yong-pyoung ski resort

this very short moving picture was taken on our last run down the sledding slope. unfortunately, i was so caught up in the first part of the run that i only remembered to start filming after i was halfway down, which is a shame because i didn't get the part where i wiped out twice, was sideswiped twice, where ryan clipped steve--who thereupon was demolished by his wife, stacey--or the part where stacey was nearly flipped over by the patrol guys at the bottom of the run policing the sledders. note whistles being incessantly blown at us and hysterical laughter at the end of the run...

yong-pyoung ski resort

<

so, saturday morning rolls around like marbles roll around a boat caught in a typhoon; so it is after a late night of doing whiskey shots with your mates because problems such as scurvy, the english FA cup, testicular rash, and that ever-unsolvable one with redheads.

my wife reminds me that we have an obligation that we must uphold because i'd bellowed ceaselessly in the early hours of the morning that we had to get up at a decent hour and make the rounds to pick up ryan and then penny so we could rush the 30 minutes to yong-pyoung ski resort to meet steve and stacey, who were presumably already going to be up there doing some skiing.

penny and ryan had also been out the night before and though we'd all been at the same bars together, it was not they to whom i'd had to administer the aforementioned whiskey-shot therapy; together, the three of us decorated the car with the pungent scent of a non-stop distillery. if my wife had been stopped by any nosy cops, she very well could've tested positive for a DUI. as it was, we made it without a hitch, though the hangovers were starting to induce us to massive hunger and alarming levels of head-pounding, as if a jolly green dragon had started learning how to jump on the trampoline of our brains. if you don't believe how anaesthetised we still were, please consider the below photo of ryan. it seems that we'd gotten into a jagermeister-shooting contest and the loser had to have some fun by walking around the resort looking like the big buck on the label of any good bottle of said jager. no explanation for the pair of feet chasing steve riding a sled down the slope.


as with most any public activity done in korea, there was an authority-controlled chaos as to how to mow down old people, er, ride a sled down the slope. first, we took a moving sidewalk for about a distance of a hundred meters to the top of the sled run. next, instead of autonomous chaos as we all took our turns running sensibly down the run, making sure to look out for others, we had to queue up row by row and wait patiently for the starter to blow his whistle and get us started (see orderliness below). it made sense only because it was korea. as we sat around waiting for our row's turned, we were entertained by some dumbass kid who kept calling all of us "mi-guk in", which means, "american," in korean. when i explained to him that not all of us were american, he was so shocked to see me--some still-drunk "roundeye representative" his xenophobic parents have always told him could never speak korean because it's the hardest, most incredible language on the planet--speak his language, that he didn't pay attention to what i said. when he continued calling us all americans (instead of foreigners, or esteemed older people, or cueball head, or rudolph, or yeti, or something), i asked him if he were japanese--a question to curdle the blood of any good, patriotic korean (is there another kind?)--he responded with the unexpectedly indignant reply of, "no, of course not." i then explained to him that if he didn't want other people to mistake him for japanese, then he shouldn't call all foreigners--black, white, amphibian, martian, cave-dwelling, religious-right-leaning--americans.

~

as the look on his face above shows, and as on the people waiting in their queue to the left, i think my thoughtful suggestion fell on deaf ears.

~

just another day in korea as a non-korean...

>>>>>>>poem of the moment 2<<<<<<<

News of End

dying footsteps
on a
borrowed freeway.
the troops behind me
huddled
in gathering.
the news of end
flickering,
waiting.

birthday salute

birthdays are a different animal here in korea than those of you who reading from a more western culture might be accustomed to hearing about. here, as in other east asian countries, birthdays are less celebrated or revered, on average, than are the anniversaries of one's death. as an example to clarify, a korean might not always know when his or her parents birthdays are, but they sure as hell know the anniversary of the death of their great-grandfather.

of course, since i'm not from an east asian culture, i tend to take more meaning in celebrating the lives of those close to me still alive than i do in feting someone i never met who died before i was born. it is with this in mind that earlier in the month, some of us got together to celebrate the birthdays of a couple of people--my wife, seung-hee, and my good pal, ben, whose torso above says it all.

we first got together to celebrate seung-hee's birthday. the scene was more subdued and hard-charging than the second celebration in a few days would be, the two celebrations befitting the personalities of the people being feted. we ate a good dinner at a nearby restaurant, chugged it on over to bumpin' for a nightcap or six and then called it a happy 30th for my wife. above left, my wife and ji-soo and, above right, phillip and yours truly...

a few nights later, we saw fit to gather again for ben's 30-somethingth (i can't remember, to be honest, but he's not as old as i am, which he'd be happy to enumerate for anyone). instead of convening at a restaurant, it was decided that our favourite after-work pub, chunjee gaebyuk, was more appropriate. it was more lively, as my wife demonstrates by whacking ryan on the cheek, than our dinner party of previous (though jason, nathan, and penny's countenances might suggest otherwise)--and we got the added pleasure of witnessing the premier presentation of our very own "stacey of liberty".

a lot more soju and beer were to be bound, gagged, and forced to do unseemly things to our livers and the camera got up and started shimmying around the room, creating exquisite examples of how not to take photos that other people might actually clamour to see.

a perfect cap to the dinner party, if not the evening, was the fall of the year's first snow. it snowed like hell's dandruff for an hour and then stopped. in this photo, please note the orange-coloured snowball (or else a UFO).

it was a happy, gay night, full of laughter, merriment, tawdry humour, and imbibing to an allegedly unhealthy degree...

>>>>>>>>>poem of the moment<<<<<<<<<

Defining Moments

A moment can be defining
when in the event of
a moment's happening,
But a moment is not defined
until after the event of
a moment's happening,
Thus, we cannot define what a
moment means when
a moment's happening.

a honeymoon better late than never

well, because of circumstances beyond our control, we weren't able to take a honeymoon trip last april after our wedding, so we took it during the last week of december. our choices came down to the maldives and the philippines--i favouring the 'dives and the missus choosing the 'pines--and, in the end, we decided on the philippines. we booked our stay at a place called the badian island resort and spa, which is on, of course, badian island, a small island off the southwest coast of cebu island. we flew directly to cebu city there on december 24th before taking a three-hour ride to badian island; we returned to seoul and then gangneung on the 30th. the story and photos of our stay are on the link below:

http://badiandays.blogspot.com

cheers to 2006