fifa’s anti-korean conspiracy continues and the coming retaliation
it’s being well-documented in certain internet football circles how so obvious it is that FIFA are waging its conspiracy campaign against korea, koreans, korean culture, the korean language, korean way of life, kimchee, soju, scientist woo-suk hwang, and, soon, long-time national hero, admiral sun-shin yi. however, before FIFA get their chance to smear admiral yi, they have taken on–and successfully defeated–a modern-day korean hero, the round-eyed king of korean football, guus hiddink.
in case you missed it last night, king hiddink’s australia squad were defeated by one of FIFA’s co-conspirators, italy, in a world cup round of 16 match. the loss in and of itself is not cause for suspicion, but the nature of the loss certainly is.
in a world cup fast becoming known less for the stellar play and sublime goals of the players of the competing nations than for the incredibly low quality of officiating, australia were a victim of a very dubious penalty given to ten-man italy at such a late point in the match that the ensuing penalty kick was the very last kick of the game.
that the australian player was lying unconscious on the ground in the penalty area, victim of a sniper shot from one of FIFA’s paramilitary units sitting on the roof of the stadium, was completely ignored by the spanish referee. that the italian player tripped, and then dove, over the prone and very dead aussie–because he’d forgotten his pregame instructions from one of FIFA’s goons about how to make the dive look like a brutal cutdown by the defender–was conveniently ignored by the spanish referee. (did you notice that spanish is now the official language of FIFA? you would were you able to logon to its web site).
however, fortunately for FIFA, because korea is out of the world cup and because so many korean netijens are in their fourth day without sleep as they continue to wage their online terrorism against football’s governing body, the only people watching the football games now are me, a couple of this aetherspace's dedicated footie fans, and, i believe, a group of tibetan pygmies living in the mountains of gangwon province. none of the netijen terrorists actually knew there was a match involving their great round-eye king.
as luck would have it for the korean cause, though, irate australians are putting down their mugs of mead, their pints of pilsner, their bowls of beer, and their grails of ale to join the koreans and are plotting their own terrorist war against FIFA.
though their strategy is still in its formative stages–and, of course, top secret–one thing is for certain: as non-aboriginal australians are descendants of great britain’s finest and pettiest criminals of several centuries previous and, as such, are feeble-minded in the pursuits of technology and internet prowess, they will not participate in a cyber-war but, more likely, will wage war involving the myriad of poisonous and man-eating creatures so prevalent to the world’s largest and most inhospitable island.
after all of FIFA’s governing personnel have been poisoned to death by snakes or spiders, after all swiss and italian citizens have been devoured by man-eating kangaroos, crocodiles, wombats, emus, and mutant koalas, the new alliance, called korestralia, will cancel the remainder of the competition and anoint itself world cup champion for 2006.
in other news: ukraine unwittingly announced itself as the new korestralian alliance’s arch-enemy when it put a crimp into all the pro-swiss conspiracy theories by somehow defying the odds, playing the entire match 11-on-14, and beating switzerland on penalty kicks to advance to the quarterfinals against italy. the only way for ukraine to avoiding being invaded and wiped from the face of the earth in the coming days by the korestralian alliance is to lose to italy at the weekend.
all of this action sure beats england’s continuing pathetic play in the world cup, don’t you think?
in case you missed it last night, king hiddink’s australia squad were defeated by one of FIFA’s co-conspirators, italy, in a world cup round of 16 match. the loss in and of itself is not cause for suspicion, but the nature of the loss certainly is.
in a world cup fast becoming known less for the stellar play and sublime goals of the players of the competing nations than for the incredibly low quality of officiating, australia were a victim of a very dubious penalty given to ten-man italy at such a late point in the match that the ensuing penalty kick was the very last kick of the game.
that the australian player was lying unconscious on the ground in the penalty area, victim of a sniper shot from one of FIFA’s paramilitary units sitting on the roof of the stadium, was completely ignored by the spanish referee. that the italian player tripped, and then dove, over the prone and very dead aussie–because he’d forgotten his pregame instructions from one of FIFA’s goons about how to make the dive look like a brutal cutdown by the defender–was conveniently ignored by the spanish referee. (did you notice that spanish is now the official language of FIFA? you would were you able to logon to its web site).
however, fortunately for FIFA, because korea is out of the world cup and because so many korean netijens are in their fourth day without sleep as they continue to wage their online terrorism against football’s governing body, the only people watching the football games now are me, a couple of this aetherspace's dedicated footie fans, and, i believe, a group of tibetan pygmies living in the mountains of gangwon province. none of the netijen terrorists actually knew there was a match involving their great round-eye king.
as luck would have it for the korean cause, though, irate australians are putting down their mugs of mead, their pints of pilsner, their bowls of beer, and their grails of ale to join the koreans and are plotting their own terrorist war against FIFA.
though their strategy is still in its formative stages–and, of course, top secret–one thing is for certain: as non-aboriginal australians are descendants of great britain’s finest and pettiest criminals of several centuries previous and, as such, are feeble-minded in the pursuits of technology and internet prowess, they will not participate in a cyber-war but, more likely, will wage war involving the myriad of poisonous and man-eating creatures so prevalent to the world’s largest and most inhospitable island.
after all of FIFA’s governing personnel have been poisoned to death by snakes or spiders, after all swiss and italian citizens have been devoured by man-eating kangaroos, crocodiles, wombats, emus, and mutant koalas, the new alliance, called korestralia, will cancel the remainder of the competition and anoint itself world cup champion for 2006.
in other news: ukraine unwittingly announced itself as the new korestralian alliance’s arch-enemy when it put a crimp into all the pro-swiss conspiracy theories by somehow defying the odds, playing the entire match 11-on-14, and beating switzerland on penalty kicks to advance to the quarterfinals against italy. the only way for ukraine to avoiding being invaded and wiped from the face of the earth in the coming days by the korestralian alliance is to lose to italy at the weekend.
all of this action sure beats england’s continuing pathetic play in the world cup, don’t you think?
posted by shaved wave at 16:14
1 Comments:
The recent Frings case certainly further stresses that FIFA officials need to get removed from office.
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