in the village of the damned

one of my true loves in the world is sports, none more so than futbol (or, "football" as a variant of the spelling or "soccer", if that's your mug of ale) and in the world of club football, there is only one for me: newcastle united.

why or how i became such a fan of the toon--a displaced geordie, as it were--is irrelevant now and is fit for another time and place; let's just accept my loyalty to the 'pies at face value.

a few days ago--monday, april 17, to be precise--they had to venture only a few kilometers down the road to sunderland, the village of the damned, to play their hated rivals. to make this boring story short, the toon kicked the mackems' asses, 4-1.

the real reason for even daring to take up space here with mention of the ass-kicking is to revel in the post-game neanderthal theatrics that the mackems resorted to as a result of having their asses handed backwards to them by their neighbours. the following is from the "sunderland echo" the next day:

SHAMEFUL
VIOLENCE marred the 126th Tyne and Wear derby with shameful scenes on and off the pitch.

Sunderland's second-half collapse against their bitter rivals sparked fury among disgruntled fans. Supporters were left injured as the gangs of thugs brought shame to the city in what had been a trouble-free afternoon.

Police arrested 24 yobs in and around the Stadium of Light yesterday, mostly for public order and drunkenness. Although rival Sunderland and Newcastle fans were kept apart, trouble quickly flared after Sunderland conceded three goals in five minutes. Bottles were hurled at pockets of Newcastle fans in corporate boxes–some of which were cleared by police as Sunderland fans tried to get at rivals.

One disgruntled fan marched on to the pitch and hurled his season ticket in disgust–before being dragged away by stewards.

A large contingent of Black Cats' fans gathered outside the ground at the corner of the South Stand waiting for Newcastle fans to emerge from the stadium in what quickly became a congested area after the final whistle. Police had aimed the keep the area as a "sterile zone" in order to prevent clashes between the home and visiting supporters. But the atmosphere turned tense as the police surged forward in an attempt to disperse the gathering crowd. Angry mobs hurled coins while bottles of booze were smashed on the ground as mounted police moved in to clear the fans.

Flashpoints of trouble flared as Sunderland supporters gathered outside St Peter's Metro Station, where a large number of Newcastle fans were expected. More than 150 officers were brought in to clear the fans across Wearmouth Bridge, where an E2 Sunderland to South Shields bus had its windows smashed as frightened passengers could only sit and wait.

More bottles were thrown from alleyways behind the City Tavern pub as fans were chased into the city centre. As the tension grew, angry gangs began kicking shop windows and smashing advertising glass display units, charging towards Market Square. Avoiding the police presence, a 50-strong gang stormed into the north entrance of Sunderland Station in a bid to confront away fans travelling back to Newcastle.

However, as they rushed back out, they were followed by police armed with batons and pepper spray. Police dogs were then used to disperse crowds through St Thomas Street and down Fawcett Street–where flower barrels were overturned. Coaches carrying Newcastle fans away from the stadium were bricked–with at least one having a window smashed.

Of the 24 arrests at the match, 22 were made inside or in the immediate vicinity of the ground for minor public order offences and drunkenness.

there are many great things about following club football in england, aside from the sport itself and the actual matches themselves:

1. the entertaining way fans act after their teams get their clocks cleaned by their rivals in derby matches: case in point above, the unhappy sunderland fan who ran onto the field and tossed his season ticket booklet on the ground. how great is that? you would never see that kind of disgustedness from an american sports fan; instead, there would be an attack on the referee or officials or the other team' players. this guy got the satisfaction of flinging away his season ticket booklet. and kudos to glenn roeder, the newcastle gaffer, for giving the man a consoling handshake as he was hastened from the field by stadium security. just classic... made me feel sorry for mackem fans for the shite season they've had (but that sympathy lasted about five seconds; it is sunderland, after all...)

2. the even more colourful way that british scribes report such disturbances. is there a more colourful word in the english language to describe an ignorant dumbass than "yob"? why hasn't such a term caught on in american parlance to describe dumbass ignorant fans who rush the field in anger or hysteria or delirium and then cause damage to themselves, property, and others?

3. and whoever it was that claimed the british always have a stiff upper lip and handle things in mannered, classy ways has never been to sunderland. witness this from the sunderland radio commentator as, at the end of his match summarisation, he gave the final score as being, "f*ck off."

a wonderful thing about english sports is that this commentator will not be fired, he will not have to grovel and give some ghost-written excuse for his words, he'll probably just be fined and have to apologise on air for his misstep and then be allowed to carry on. his counterpart in america would never be able to find an on-air job again because of the climate of victorian political correctness that so permeates all devices of american society.

personally, i think the commentator's summarisation is hilarious, though i think he shouldn't take the final result quite so seriously nor do i think combustible reactions to his or any other comments of a similar sort should be lambasted by malcontents hiding behind their veneer of hypocrisy, either...

anyway, raise a newcastle brown ale in sympathy for all those unfortunate to be sunderland fans; they can't help it, they were just born that way...