korea's road sign madness

earlier in this aetherspace of nonsensical rambling, i once referenced korea's--and, indeed, most of asia's--obsession with learning english (click here to refresh your memory and then scroll down to "english, the beautiful language"). it is as crazy here in korea as it is anywhere else in the non-english-speaking spectacle that is the majority of this planet.

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on a recent jaunt around the mountains near gangneung here in gangwon province, we came across korea's attempts to make themselves appear learned in the field of english, and it was met with devastatingly humourous results:

here are two signs, one above and one below, meant to warn drivers of impending climbing lanes about either to begin or end as the road went up and up toward higher elevations. the one above, which we saw first, sent us into bouts of laughter at the amazing lack of proofreading. not two minutes later did we see the same sign as above with the same spelling mistake (a g instead of a b in the word climbing). we couldn't believe our eyes at the same mistake's being made twice! the third sign we passed as we climbed this mountain road had everything spelled correctly, which abated our hysteria a bit...

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however, the abatement didn't last long...

not only did was climbing spelled wrong again, it was spelled differently from the first mistake: this time, a d had replaced the b in climbing!

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as funny as these mistakes were, it would have been funnier had the korean also been wrong, but, alas, the korean in these signs was impeccable.

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however, this didn't end the road sign madness. no, there was more to come.

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it has been noted here and in other places that the korean government--and on a different scale, any korean or koreans who are in any type of authorative position, be it boss, prominent committee member, teacher, parent, nightclub owner, etc.--usually treats the rest of the segment of the population whom they are allegedly "serving" as a mangled mob of idiots who can't think for themselves. it's an age old deviation of the question of which comes first, the chicken or the egg: which came first, koreans' stupid, blind loyalty to all things authoritarian or the thought by those in authority that the rest of the people are stupid and should be blindly loyal?

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too, as korea has been for centuries at the crossroads of marauding cultures--the japanese, fast food, the chinese, the ancient mongols, the american military, the hello kitty phenomenon, the internet and all things wireless, bad fashion, to name a few--upon their peninsula and collective psyche, koreans are very skittish, very patriotic, and very concerned about defending its borders, all of which the korean government takes advantage of in the ugliest and most pathetic ways.

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when these two above factors--blind loyalty and collective skittish patriotism--are combined, one sees humourous reminders everywhere to the korean people of such phenomena, such as the following:

~a sign on a moving sidewalk to remind passengers that when the moving sidewalk comes to an end, passengers must disembark because they will be unable to continue riding once the platform has disappeared underground;

~at the beach, no swimming out past the marked "swimming area" because it's harder to swim if you can't touch the bottom (and neglecting to mention the huge sand bar just past the buoys where the water is, maybe, shoulder-high, at most, even on a korean);

~men in rest area urinals should stand with their right foot slightly forward so as to avoid splattering their piss upon themselves;

~no swimming or sunbathing on areas of the beach that are fenced in with barbed wire because you might be shot at;

~don't feed the chickens flocking around the window of the men's urinal at another rest stop;

~tanks 30 tons or less are allowed access across the bridge;

~be careful not to drive your car into the river;

~please visit the potato breeding station on your visit to yong-pyoung ski resort (i have got to have a photo of this particular one to prove to you readers that it exists!!!);

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if one travels the expressways of korea, one will miss most of these hilariously beckoning signs (except at the rest areas) or these hideously-spelled attempts to beware the mountain roads or the beauty that is korea and her people.

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one must take the time--well worth it, mind you--to take the back roads, the often poorly-maintained state or provincial roads, amidst mind-blowing scenery, through wonderful small towns, and introducing you to the wonderfully nice people who are always so amazed to see foreigners, especially ones who speak their language and eat what would be considered surprising for foreigners to eat.

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it's a treat to see this side of korea--it lends a break to the negativity and cynicism that often seems to pervade korean city life and, too, a foreigner's view of fast-paced korea--but just don't forget to take your eyes off the mountains, fields, rivers, flowers, trees, hills, people, and food for a moment every once in a while...

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...so you can catch a road sign that will bring a smile to your face, regardless of your mood.