MIA and post-ramadhan

fasting during ramadhan really took its toll on me...
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well, as any regular reader of this aetherspace knows (and judging by the amount of non-spam "reader comments" there aren't, i don't gather that there are any of you still around), this space was hijacked during the last week of ramadhan or so, taken over by rogue bandits with no torsos to speak of, but with an amazing ability to type on a computer keyboard using only the 4th and 5th toes of their non-dominant foot.

the one of the group who had any sort of torso upon which a mangled head perched was able to overpower me--at the time, in an absinthe-induced torpor--and tied me up and left me in a dark dungeon full of rats, bats, and vats of wine from which the rats, whom i taught, through mutual squeaks and bites to one another's noses and haunches, to bring me cups of the wine on a regular basis throughout each day. admittedly, this wine was not the best to have ever passed through my lips--coagulated piles of porcine piss, shimmering bits of bovine bile, and festering floats of feline fecal fettucini wandering about each cupful did not add much in the way of quality but more than made up for it in egregious putrescence--but it did get me through the horrible days of wasting away underground and trading bits and nips with creatures scurrying and fluttering.

when i finally was able to escape, lo and behold, did i discover that those rotten foot-typing monsters had overtaken this space and filled it with some short story about drugs--and drawn out in serial fashion, even!! how cliche, don't you think?

however, it is a story about ganja-smuggling, so i'll keep it here because any time you get one over on Uncle Sam, can afterward flip him the finger and dance deliriously just beyond the reach of his evil and perilous phalanges, spitting all the while on his filthy, hypocritical feet, you take it and display the evidence, even if it was written by a bunch of torso-less bandits who held me hostage and typed with their disgusting, pus-filled, ringworm-laden, non-dominant feet.

because, obviously, such a story could not have really happened, right? not under the watchful eye of freedom-hating Bushco, not at a time when the american government is engaged in a multi-fronted war against drugs, free speech, homosexuality, necrophilia, terror, alcohol, fellatio, immigrants, religions that aren't christian or jewish, cunninglingus, tolerance, communism, farmers, small business, forests, local government, arctic wildlife, newcastle football, fishermen, cuba, anti-imperialism, having fun, and human rights?

no, never.

impossible, right?