to gill and peggy

together with helen and without tears, though with a lot of cheetahs

it's been just over a week since i last made an effort at this. been in sort of a malaise about it all because it seems that, at the moment, life is the same every week. same beach, same people (usually), same antics, same bouts of tame lameness it seems. no need to bore you with a weekly report of our cavorting when it's not much different from week to week.

however, i did finally manage to muster up the wherewithal to post the above photo and deliver an explanation. helen, thanks for enlightening me on your the spelling of your mom's name.

i do have some pictures from the Dano Festival i've told you about and about which some of you have read on other web sites near this one, but they will be posted at another time and when i've sorted through all the ones taken of the river...at night, without flash, while in the feverish clutches of dongdong ju madness.

this one is for the moms out there: those of you who are moms and have moms. those of you who've lost moms know what i'm talking about.

my friend, helen (above, for those of you with ADD), who is now on an extended journey through the world (part of this "around the world on 80 squid"--or maybe it was 'quid', i can't remember--was a brief jaunt back to the peninsula because of her hastened departure), was scheduled to leave korea around the time of my marriage (mid-april), with her going away party unknowlingly slated for the exact day on which my wedding was held, thus meaning neither of us could make it to the other's fete. well, as it turned out, only one scheduled fete was held while two funerals were soon held.

i bumped into her on thursday night, not knowing either a) she'd left early or, B) certainly not why. we held a customary greetings and catchup chat, along with apologies for missing out on weddings and going away parties before the i raised the inevitable question upon being told that her party had been cancelled.

"my mother died, mate."
"holy shit, helen, i'm so sorry. was it sudden? was it expected?"
"yeah, she had cancer and had been in the hospital for a while. i was supposed to have seen her about a week later had she not died."
strange math began to go through my head regarding dates, as were thoughts of my own at having supposed to have travelled to see my own mother soon had she not died.
"when did your mom die, helen?" i did not expect the reply she gave, though i had thought that her mom's day couldn't have been too far off from my mom's.
"she died on that monday before my party."
"monday, the 11th?"
a nod in the affirmative.
"monday, april 11th, 2005?"
"yes, why?"
"that's the day my mother died."

that was eerie enough until it became obvious that helen thought april 11th, 2005, was the anniversary of my mother's death.

"no, helen, my mom died on the exact day, this year, as your mother."

well, the night suddenly went from a fairly early night out of normalcy to a late night bout of crying, tequila and whiskey shots in memoriam, and, to be honest, healing. it is to be said that i really cannot remember anyone's else being at bar bumpin' that night, save for rory and tania, to both of whom i owe a debt of thanks for being there and helping helen and me get through our tears and ruefulness (though other web sites may actually chronicle their exploits of that night slightly differently).

helen has departed our fair peninsula again, but not our hearts and thoughts. we shared very few more tears after that night, but we did meet several times and have several more drinks again over the next few.

thus, this particular dent in aetherspace is dedicated to our moms: though they've physically departed this whirling ball of wax, they've not left our hearts, thoughts, or memories.

gillian and peggy, we love you and miss you. here's to you...