not long now

about 13 hours from now, the world cup will finally kick off. today's games involve the host, germany, against costa rica and poland v. ecuador. not a cracking way to kick off the tournament, from first glance, but that's just because i have no personal interest in any of these four teams. regardless, the games are afoot and that's enough for me.

now, for a semi-biased, unprofessional, but as-objective-as-possible look at which teams will win their groups, here you are:

group a: germany will win the group and ecuador will place 2nd. costa rica and poland, thanks for playing. so boring, no commentary needed.

group b: regardless of wayne rooney's health, england will top this group and sweden will be 2nd. tough go for paraguay in this group, as i think they're underrated, and trinidad&tobago are just happy to be dancing here. if rooney truly is healthy, then a rampant england; if he gets re-injured or has a setback and can't contribute, then england by a thin margin over sweden.

group c: "group of death 1" is such a tough call. normally, you could conceivably pick any of the four to make it out of the group stage and into the knockout rounds, but not this time. as strong as argentina and serbia&montenegro might be, i have to go with ivory coast winning the group and holland finishing just behind them.

group d: a group with perhaps the ultimate minnows, angola, though not as much from a footballing standpoint as from a real, economic standpoint. they are in a tough group for them, though matched against their former colonial masters, portugal, might give them an edge to peg at least a point, maybe all three with a determined win. however, as portugal always fail on the big stage, i'm not about to pip them to win anything until they can prove it. thus, as much as i want angola to advance, i have to go with iran winning the group and mexico finishing 2nd. hope dubya isn't going to watch this group; otherwise, two nations that revile him might end up being invaded in due course because of this...

group e: "group of death 2" is another tough call. it is wrong to underestimate ghana, as all three other teams might do. they, just as easily as italy, could pass through this group and into the next round. however, i just feel that the u.s. and czech republic, in that order, are too strong for this group. much to many people's chagrin, the u.s. is making strides to catch up with the rest of the world on the football stage (though it is true that they may always remain 2nd-class, however, as long as they insist on calling the sport "soccer"). many people seem to think that italy will do well, but, i disagree because, well, they're italian and they play shit football.

group f: a deceivingly strong group, though with the overwhelming favourites to win the whole damn shebang in brasil, one could hope that the "samba party" show up unfocused and crash out early, but that would be akin to trinidad&tobago winning the cup itself, so forget that. thus, the other three are playing for second--and what a struggle that could be. it's tempting to overlook australia because they play rugby, wrestle reptiles, and kick around in a sport called "australian rules football", just as it's tempting to overlook japan and croatia, though for other reasons. however, the socceroos (another nation that may never be taken seriously in this sport as long as they follow the yanks and insist, too, on calling it "soccer") have some serious talent and a fine gaffer, so they get my nod to nick 2nd place here.

group g: another boring--though great-to-make-fun-of--group, save for the african minnows, togo. i'd very much like to see them win the group, as with angola and ghana earlier, and they have half a chance, from where i stand. choosing the rest of the group, however, is like choosing for between plain yogurt, soft tofu, and celery for an exotic, tasty dinner to bring your taste buds to orgasm. let's face it, a group with france, switzerland, and korea isn't glamourous. the french are in a state of chaotic decline--i'm not sure if they'll win it all (like '98) or go goalless (like '02). the swiss are predictably boring in how they play the game, as they are in most other facets of existence. and the koreans are suspect defensively (save for the keeper) and couldn't score a goal if the other team consisted of no keeper and six legless nuns pulling themselves around the pitch with their hands. thus, with no real conviction, i choose switzerland and france to go through, respectively. korea might not win a match and togo very well could inject some life into this group. let's hope the togolese pogo-stick their way into the next round...

group f: for many, this is the "group of dull". spain, who, along with portugal are as reliable to be predicted to fail as it is reliable to predict that dubya's dreams consist of oil-covered, alcoholic strippers, will not make it out of this group, much i've been reading at how this spain team is different from past ones. i'll believe it only when i see it. thus, this leaves saudia arabia, tunisia, and ukraine to battle for winner and runner-up. while i know the saudis will be keen to banish their performance from the last world cup from their memories (an 0-8 loss to germany, among them), they won't break the duck and get through to the 2nd round. i fancy ukraine to win the group because they play good football and have a world-class in andriy shevchenko. the last of the african teams is the one that plays football in a most unafrican way--that is, they don't usually play with flair or panache, totally disregarding disciplined defense--and a team that will finally break their drought of not making it through to the next round, tunisia. they are unfancied by most "experts", as are the ukrainians, but in a group with the kings of choke, the spaniards, and the whipping boys of the desert, the saudis, it's time for ukraine and tunisia to flourish on the big stage.