the hazards of thinking at sunset

the sun sets on mountains and advancing kamikaze traffic

i had one of those moments yesterday as i walked across the street from my school to hail a cab.

those of you who know me understand (well, maybe "understand" is the wrong word, since a lot of you don't, but at least you KNOW) how i feel about the u.s. these days and, indeed, for nearly the past decade. i see america as many people around the world--particularly those living in latin american and arabic countries--see it: foisting its monopolistic and decidedly (un)democratic policies on intimidated and spineless governments the world over with the intent of increasing its empire for purely monetary gains and increased feelings of power. there are people i know who always get offended by my lack of reverence for "the great satan", as it's known in some circles, and they feebly defend america with lame comments about opportunities for all and freedom for sundry while tremulously using the old cliche that no country is perfect to explain away the faults of the empire.

a guy i know is in the midst, these days, of some stage melancholy toward his life in korea, missing his home back in australia. now, this is a funny, smart, musically-talented guy who is about as controversial as a bar stool. but, he's in a funk these days about the racism, intolerance, and general lack of regard that asians--particularly chinese, koreans, and japanese--have toward people of other races, ethnicities, and nationalities. i've lived in asia--singapore, korea, and china--for over five years and have heard such things during my entire time here, but have usually blown it off because the source of such comments was as dependable as a 25-year-old bimbo's romantic intentions to her billionaire husband some five decades her senior.

but this guy's comments hit me as i crossed the street last night and they just floated there above me whilst i dodged traffic and acknowledged the sunset: am i wrong about america? am i wrong about korea? is there really no place left on earth in which a man or woman can live without being subject to discrimination, without having to endure that land's endless propaganda that theirs is the greatest civilization, that they have the most advanced culture and the most enlightened people, that they must protect their heritage and birthright that have been passed down for millennia?

maybe i'm unenlightened, but i just don't get it. i do live in a country that, like japan and china around it, likes to think of itself as homogeneous--as if that's some great trait. koreans like to think that korea has a grand culture that the world ought to know, appreciate, and revere. they boast that their language is the world's most difficult to learn and they teach their kids ignorant ideas about people from other countries. in fact, one of my wife (who's korean, by the way)'s students once told her a few months ago, upon finding out about our impending marriage, that my wife was "pathetic" because she was marrying a non-korean, a "foreigner".

excuse me, but who's the pathetic one here?

how can a child under the age of ten have such views? well, obviously, from parenting and the relentless propaganda by the media and government. i know the korean bent is more or less the opposite side of the same coin, but how can a culture claim to be so great when it pushes such malevolent and ignorant ideas? how can they not know the ignorance and malevolence of such ideas?

so, in lieu of all of these things, i had a momentary thought that america can't be that bad, that i'm wrong and have been, that i need to flee back to a land where i'm not in the minority so i can resume living in my circle of comfort that i left for good some years ago. all it took, however, to jolt me back to reality was perusal of today's news--the first bush president pushing for this OTHER son to run for president in '08, a subtle reduction in freedoms, same shit in iraq, afghanistan, israel, and other countries and regions far too numerous to name and far too kept from the public eye for patriots and those still with misguided hope about america's greatness to believe--to resume my outlook. all it took, too, was a review of che guevara's thoughts from so long ago about the u.s. and its imperialistic foreign policy--all of which are still true today, if not actually more extreme than in the 1960s--to get me back on stable and unaffected-by-american-propaganda thinking patterns. further, i reflected back on my own experiences seeing less-than-benign results of american influence in countries i've resided and visited.

as much as i despise korea's nespotic racism, i find just as deplorable america's condescencion toward the rest of the world. in both america and korea, there is a fierce defensive posture taken when accused of racism, xenophobia, or nespotism, though i find it worse here than in the states. however, american arrogance is appalling, to say the least, because of one simple fact: its history as a state is not even two and half centuries old. in korea, as well as in japan and china, the rearing of racism's ugly haunches usually manifests itself in a different manner than it does in america.

here in northeast asia, the manifestation occurs in the horror that arises at a child's wanting to marry an "outsider"; in the constant derision of a foreigner's appearance as being too fat, too bald, and having eyes with too much color (all the while, people the region over are killing themselves eating junk food, whitening their skin with fucked-up skin-whitening gimmicks, and wearing colored contact lenses); in the constant stares at non-koreans as if they were strange insects or aliens (yet, have you ever noticed that koreans don't appreciate having the stare reciprocated?); or in the attempts by drunken dumbass men to start shit with foreigners because in their alcohol-induced pathetic sense of insecure bravery, they feel they impress their friends by fucking with the foreigner; or in the owners of private english institutes the country over who never speak to their native english-speaking teachers, except when it concerns money or making the school look good, because they don't see the teachers as human beings, but as commodities.

these days, in america, the spectre of xenophobia and racism sits on its haunches in a different, but no less insidious, manner. if you want to find out what will happen, just speak out against israel; or sympathise with the palestinians, iraqis, afghanis, cubans, et. al; or invoke the all-too-true-but-oh-so-dismissed-by-western-civilization mantra that islam and the arab world have contributed more to "our" way of life, as it were these days; or happen to look arab or muslim, whatever that means; or speak out unpatriotically against america and her imperialist ways. chances are, job loss awaits, affecting you and your family; or, if you're really unlucky, jail or detainment without charges or reasons, but filed lawfully under the evil auspices of the PATRIOT ACT in the name of homeland security, will be your reward.

which method is worse? personally, i'll take ignorant bosses, defiant-until-challenged stares in public places, and idiotic homogeneity over worrying about family security, jail, and unjust detention because of my political views.

or will i? frankly, it's like choosing between death by carbon monoxide poisoning or by the bite of a black mamba, but the simile is similar: death by coversion or being killed overtly. what is your choice?

and, to think, all of this conceived by crossing a street and taking in a beautiful sunset...